Sleep Training!

So a little back story, when Carter first was born I never planned on co-sleeping. I had always assumed that he would sleep in his crib just as all babies do. It never even crossed my mind that it was a possibility because all I had heard was how dangerous it was to sleep with your baby in your bed. Well one of the biggest lessons I've learned as a parent is that any "plans" you have for your child or how you plan on raising them might as well be thrown out the window because nothing will go as you plan. Nothing. And you probably won't be the parent you said you were, and you'll probably do all the things you said you weren't going to because that's life.
I quickly found out that my newborn did NOT want to sleep in his bassinet. Or in his crib. Or in his boppy seat. Or anywhere other than my arms. This I wasn't prepared for. I remember being told that I wouldn't have time to myself again for many years after having a child and I would joke to my husband that they were all wrong because "don't they sleep?" No, no they don't. Unless of coarse he fell asleep in my arms while nursing. In a state of complete sleep deprivation and exhaustion, I started nursing him lying down in bed, and he would "gasp" fall asleep in my arms, and to my better judgement I went to sleep too. He was a lot safer then you would think in the position we slept in (and to this day I get achey elbows from sleeping like this). But in extreme sleep deprivation, nothing matters. This went on for days, weeks, months, and continued even after we were done nursing. Yes I tried putting him in his crib here and there and he would scream his little head off and my heart would break and I'd go and get him. I liked having him close to me every night. I liked co-sleeping. I also loved waking up in the morning - especially weekends - and we'd all cuddle and be silly.
Now I realize the problem wasn't that he wouldn't sleep in his crib, it was that I wasn't ready emotionally and physically to let go. I loved it too much, and wasn't strong enough to listen to him cry and not get him. I did want my bed to myself again though. My husband and I hadn't slept without Carter since he existed, we had zero down time, and our bed was getting really, really cramped.
But time went by, and the longer it did, the more impossible it seemed. I started to think Carter would be in our bed forever. It just seemed like an impossible task. But the urge to get him out got stronger and stronger. The nights became much more cramped and difficult. Carter was waking in the middle of the night and would cry and kick and toss and turn. I'd get him a bottle, rub his head, snuggle him - I'd pretty much do ANYTHING to get him back down. It was exhausting and he wasn't learning to self-soothe. I knew this wasn't good for him nor us, and that we needed a change fast. But weeks and months kept flying by.
About two weeks ago I was reading a blog and I don't remember specifics except that a blogger posted that Ferberizing her 15 month old was the best thing she ever did, and it was necessary for the overall well being of the household. She had a story similar to mine. She was right, and I had hope! Carter was 19 months old, but it was certainly not too late. All the sudden it didn't seem so impossible.
That night we put him in his crib, did our best to comfort him and then let him cry it out. It was insanely hard for me for about 10 minutes, that was it. I could handle it. We've had a few rough moments, but I am so proud to say he officially sleeps in his crib and we couldn't be happier! Tonight he actually *wanted* to go in his crib and went down without a single tear!! We did it! I am one happy lady. And so is my household. We were worried that our weekend away in San Diego would mess him up since we didn't have a crib with us, and he'd have to start over when we got back, but we didn't. We continued where we left off, and he was fine. I can officially say he no longer sleeps in our bed!
Sincerely,
A well-rested Momma in a happy household
P.S. - I just wrote this whole blog ON MY iPad! Neatttttt.

28th B-Day and Memorial Day Weekend!

The past four days have been a whirlwind. Not sure why I always do this to myself. I finally get a few days off of work with nothing scheduled and instead of using that time to kick-back, relax and rejuvinate myself, I go fill up that time with a million and one things to do leaving me utterly exhausted and on the verge of collapsing afterward. Whew. AND repeat. I never learn.

We made some great memories so that's all that counts, right? On Friday I went to Yamato with the family and some friends and had a nice little birthday dinner. And then afterward I got to open my presents and eat cupcakes from Sweet Arlene's. They were featured on the show "Cupcake Wars," and they were every bit as delicious as they looked:

oooh ahhhh

I definitely scored on the presents this year. I think I've scared Andy into permantely getting me really awesome gifts because he knows I'm not one to politely pretend I like something that he gets me when I don't. We've had many awkward special occassions end this way.

What kind of person does that? Me <------ this girl. I'm a winner. I really hope I don't pass that on to my son. I don't have patience for people like myself. Does that make sense?

Carter dressed to the nines for Mommy's Birthday

I'm in love with my new iPad that the hubby got me. Thanks babe! It's white and new and shiny and I like new shiny things. He wrapped it in a giant box within a box within a box, within a ... you get the idea. I literally had no idea what he could have possibly gotten me because the Britney concert tickets I bought myself were supposed to be my birthday present frthis year. I also recieved a bunch of other wonderful things from my friends and family, giftcards, make-up, a make-up chest, a Petunia Pickle Bottom Travel bag, new blow dryer, and a few other things. I went to bed one happy girl!

We woke up bright and early Saturday and drove off to Lego Land! I spent my actual birthday taking my son to a theme park geared for kids under 10. What was I thinking? But seriously it was a really fun day and I am the happiest when I get to see my little guy happy and live vicariously through him. That's why you have kids, right?

After LL, we headed to our hotel in downtown San Diego. Note to self, next time you book a hotel room stear clear of the "downtown." I am not the city girl I used to be and would have been much happier outside of the city or near the water. Driving around the city was a complete nightmare and we literally were lost every-time we left the hotel. Even with a GPS. How does anyone travel without a GPS these days? I get lost WITH it. My husband put it best on how the trip went - "get lost. eat. get lost. eat. sleep. repeat." We did have some delicious meals though. Probably the best part of our trip. Getting fatter. Joy.

My 2nd Birthday dinner with our little "trio" at the Yard House in San Diego (go THERE!)

The 2nd night we were so sick of driving around, getting lost and parking in the city, we plopped Carter in the stroller and headed off on foot to wherever the road took us. We ended up in the Little Italy section of Downtown, and stumbled into the first restaurant I saw that didn't look uber expensive or have more than a half hour wait. I peeked in and said "here," and had Andy put our name in. Little did I know we were about to have one of the most amazing dining experiences ever. It would be on my top ten dinner's ever list if I had one. The restaurant was called Little Italy Spaghetteria, they had a live Jazz band and the best Italian food I've ever had. Carter had so much fun rocking out to the music that he wasn't his usually fussy self, and we enjoyed some red wine and all was well in the world in that moment.

The next day we woke up bright and early again to get the heck out of dodge and head straight to my parents Memorial Day BBQ. After 3 hours (and we may or may not have fought during the car ride home about the stupidest thing ever) we finally arrived for some fun, sun and BBQ. It was a nice day, but I couldn't help but feel completely drained of every last ounce of energy I had so we left around 6ish.

*Note no veggies were eaten during the taking of this photo. Only dip.

I almost forgot to mention that we did take Carter to the movies for the very first time! We saw Rio (or at least an hour of it before he become antsy and wanted to move about the theatre). It wasn't cute or entertaining at all. Boo. Carter was more interested in the popcorn and candy and the mini cartoon they show in the beginning - he was in hysterics. Yay! And then the movie began and it did not make him laugh. Boo.

On another completely different note, I was super excited to TTC this cycle but something happened that may cause us to put our plans on hold for a bit. Nothing bad, just a kind of fun opportunity that may or may not play out and not sure if I can say anything so that is all I will say. I'm going to wait it out and see what happens.

Xoxo,

Michelle

Hello from Lego Land!

Carter is thoroughly enjoying himself, especially his lunch.

Happy 28th Birthday to meeee!

More Photo-spiration

Love, LOVE, love this. Not sure where it originally came from though.

My THREE day weekend is here. Excuse me while I do a little dance.....Ok done. Yay!!!


And I get presents tonight. Woot Woot. I love presents. Expect pictures to follow. Unless they suck. Ha.

Have a wonderful weekend!!! And Happy Birthday to me!

Today I love ..

• This new site that I keep hearing about Hello Giggles. It was created by fun females (including Zooey Deschanel who I love) as an "ultimate entertainment destination for smart, independent, and creative females." Um, hello, ME! Or at least what I pretend to be. Ha.
• This picture on negativity and how it affects us. Found here.

• Pinterest! I can't wait until I can get a free couple of hours and can pin some more. I've already started an idea board for Carter's 2nd Birthday. Amy (over at Dandelion Paperweight) whom I adore and is one of my closest friends IRL, sent me the cutest idea for a Monster Themed Birthday and I really, really want to use it. After thinking about it though, Carter is just obsessed with all things Mickey Mouse and we might go with it because its more 2 year-old appropriate it. I don't think we can get away with doing a Mickey Mouse theme party when he's older and since he is still baby-ish, we might as well do something baby-ish. I definitely want to use the Monster idea another year, if Amy doesn't use it first. :)
• My Birthday! I love Birthdays, although I'm sure I won't always. 28 is my absolute favorite number (it's lucky too!) and I'm turning 28 this year. I have a bunch of celebrations planned and I also am going away for two nights with my boys. I *know* this is going to be a good year for me. It's my one chance at 28, let's make it awesome please.

That's all for now, I know there is a whole lot more I love right now but work calls!

Blast from the Past

A long, long time ago, January 12th, 2009, I decided to start a blog right here on blogger. I named it La La Land and gave it one post. This post came right as we were "trying" to concieve Carter, buying our first home and months before wedding. Unfortunately I only made this one post, and I think I'm the only one who ever read it. I wish I kept it up through all the craziness that become my life, but I wanted to share this one post. I'm a little embarrassed by it, but here it goes:

Monday, January 12, 2009


The First One

I am not sure who will want to read this, or if anyone will, but here goes: I'm 25 years old, engaged to my wonderful Fiance Andy, looking to buy our first home, and trying to concieve our first child. How unromantic does "trying to concieve our first child sound?" Yuck.

Today we looked at a few prospective homes. We absolutely fell in love with one at the perfect price, only to find out an offer was put on it yesterday. Just our luck. We looked at two others, and they were terrible. I'm not a very handy person so I definitely need a home that is move-in ready. I think its going to be a loong search process, but I am so ready to move. We are giving up our dream wedding so we can put the money towards a down payment on a home. It's so much more practical in todays economic times, and we can still have a small, pretty, intimate wedding - right?? Do they exist? We've been together for over 5 years now and I feel totally married already, we are such the old married couple now and I'm ready to elope and get this over with. We'll see.

So, I know I'm a little late for New Years resolutions, but this is what my resolutions are for 2009: Get Married, Buy our first home & get pregnant. In no particular order. I'm hoping to document all of this craziness for all you millions of people reading my blog. Haha. Or for myself so I can read all of this later.
As far as the baby-making attempt is going - we are in our second month trying, and I'm in the dreaded "two-week wait." (Wait between ovulation and period) Sigh. We recently hired a cleaning service and I think they stole a pregnancy test. Haha. I got a box of 5 tests, I used one a few weeks ago, and I just went to use one (I know wayy too early, I couldn't help myself), and they were only 3 left in the box. Hmm interesting. I'm hiding them next time they come. Or maybe, I won't need them! I hope this is our month, I'm so ready for this and then I'll have 9 months to buy our house and get married! We've been engaged for 1.5 years, and I am the total slacker on the wedding planning because I have simply lost the ability to make decisions. You should see DF (dear fiance) and I at the end of the day trying to decide what to do for dinner.
Me: What should we do for dinner?

DF: I don't care, whatever you want.

Me: Well, what do you feel like?

DF: I don't know, anything.

Me: hmmm, I don't know what I feel like. How about chinese?

DF: Eh, not really in the mood for chinese.

Me: Welll. (long pause). Let's see what we have here to cook.
This is when I walk into the kitchen , stare at the fridge, then go to the cabinets, stare and go back to DF.
Me: I don't feel like anything we have here.

DF: I don't want to go pick something up, I can just make something here.

Me: But I don't want something here. Hmm
This is when I make my 2nd trip into the kitchen and do the same fridge / cabinet back and forth dance.
Me: Yea, nothing we have sounds good.

DF: Why don't you go grocery shopping?

Me: Hmmm, nothing at the grocery store sounds good. We have plenty of food here.

DF: But you don't want to eat any of it.

Me: No. (Sigh) I'm hungry.

DF: I'm just gonna make something.

Me: I think I'm gonna pick up some chinese take-out


And this is pretty much how it goes on a nightly basis. Every week we tell ourselves we are going to plan our meals ahead of time, but it never sticks. Blah.


Alright, nighty night.

Posted by MICHELLE at 8:57 PM

The coolest kid in town

Did you know that?

Somebody needs to stop me because I can't stop blogging lately. I'm addicted!

Today I'm..

Really ready for the week to be over.

Bummed I brought Carter into our bed last night (in my defense, I honestly think I was dreaming and did it sub-consciously).

Excited about turning 28 on the 28th (for the presents obviously).

Still waiting for that Pinterest invite!

Feeling really angry at the world for a friend.

Looking forward to taking Carter to Lego Land on Saturday and spending my weekend in San Diego with the boys.

Excited for my birthday dinner with friends and family on Friday!

Tired.

Deliriously looking forward to seeing Hangover 2.

Happy I figured out how to blog from my phone (if this works!).

Xx. Michelle

Sometimes we just need to hear it..

20 Month Update

Carter is officially 20 month's old today! Wow. Makes me sad just thinking about it, but I also love all the wonderfully cute little things he is doing right now.

My favorite being the little sentences he says using made up words, but you know exactly what he is saying because of his tone. Make sense? For example, Roxanne always chases Carter around the house and makes little claw hands and says "I'm gonna get you!" And he squeals with delight. The other day, in the car, Carter was sitting right behind Roxanne in his car seat, and he made this adorable attempt at little claw hands and scrunched up his face and said "Mmagawitu" and we both just about died right there. Love it.

This is what is up with Carter at 20 month's old:

-Has had all of his shots up to 2 years
-Weighs approximately 23 pounds and wears size 4 diapers.
-Wears 12 - 18 month clothes. Still!
-Wears size 5 shoes.
-Favorite food is CHEESE. Just like his daddy.
-His favorite meal would be a Cheese Quesadilla.
-He despises fruit except for bananas, but this month he started eating apples and tasted a strawberry, progress!
-He loves going to the grocery store with me and driving the car (attached to the cart) around the store.
-He loves playing toys with Auntie Roc almost everyday while Mommy cooks dinner.
-He LOVES to draw! He also discovered how to draw on the walls and that it makes Mommy really mad.
-And my favorite update - he is officially sleeping in his own crib! (Blog post on ferberizing a 19 month old to follow soon). He still cries a bit each night and is waking up once in the middle of the night to cry for us, so we aren't all sleeping peacefully just yet, but I know it will happen soon.
-And his favorite shows are Mickey Mouse, Yo Gabba Gabba, Blues Clues, and Kipper.

He still looks just like Daddy, but acts just like Mommy. He is such the jokester too, and loves to dance and act silly.

The last 20 months have been the most challenging of my life, but also the best. I love you Carter Andrew York! You rock my world.

Laura's Wedding!

Came and went. They are always over in a blink of an eye.

It was a beautiful day filled with excitement and love, and I was so thrilled to be a part of it.

Laura was a beautiful bride and I am in love with her dress, shoes, flowers, everything. She did a great job.

As promised, highlights from the day. I can't wait for the professional photo's!

 Perfection

 The flowers were amazing.

Love it!

 The kiss!

 Amy, Roxanne and I all dolled up.

Purty. It was yummy too!

 Roxanne and Carter.

 I LOVED her bouquet. So elegant.

 Amy & Mike

Isn't she stunning?

Oooh, I NEED this bad.

Soo Danielle over at Sometimes Sweet is offering the most amazing giveaway, a photoshoot with Christina Heaston! I would love, love, love this.

When we were married, we were on a low budget because we decided to put our "wedding money" towards a down payment on our town house. So instead of using a professional photographer, we had a friend (who is actually a good amateur photographer and had a nice camera) do the pictures for us. She did a great job for not being a professional and at the time it was exactly what I wanted. In retrospect, after seeing all my friends get married and use the awesome photographers, I wish we splurged. It was our one day, and we'll never get that back so we should of had a professional do it.  There were a lot of shots missed, and I wasn't creative about anything (I was pregnant, I didn't care!).

We've had a rough year so far with losing our little Rose, and I want nothing more than to do some fun family portraits that I can proudly frame on our wall. This would really make me happy! Ok?

Pleasepickme. And my son is super adorable, so that's always a bonus, right??

The link to the giveaway is here:  Sometimes Sweet Giveaway Christina Heaston.

Wish me LUCK!

Laura's Wedding Eve!

Laura and I at her Bridal Shower, April 2011

Today is the Eve of Laura's Wedding! Tonight the festivities begin with the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and then off to the hotel where we stay.

I can't deny that I'm overly excited - I think more so than the bride! I've been friends with Laura for 13 years now and I am thrilled to share in her big day with her. It's been two years since my wedding so it's nice to re-live all the excitement and not have the stress that comes with being a bride. Haha.

Laura and I worked my our first jobs together at the Hamburger Hamlet, we both worked on the Moorpark College Newpaper editing staff, we were also roomies in San Francisco and we currently work together! She was a Bridesmaid in my wedding, was there for the birth of my son, I threw her engagement party, and now I get to be a Bridesmaid in her wedding!

At 16 years old, when Laura and I worked at Hamburger Hamlet together, a fellow co-worker asked us "Sooo are you guys like best friends forever and ever and ever and ever?? Like one of those?" And it's been a joke ever since.

Congratulations on your wedding to my best friend 4 ever and ever and ever!

Laura and Scott, May 21st, 2011

T T C A M

That is Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage for all you non TTCer's. I'm a little scared that I'll have some difficulties getting pregnant after our miscarriage. Some women go on to have healthy babies right away, and others try for years and years (after having a successful pregnancy and miscarriage) and it just doesn't happen.

Sooooo, cycle #2 has ended in a big fat negative.

Not really surprised. I had ZERO symptoms as I did with both my previous pregnancies. And the girl pregnancy was completely different than my boy pregnancy. That kind of gives me some hope that I'll be able to tell right away when I am, and what gender I'm having. That's a little neat.

There is a positive to this negative - Laura's Wedding is this Saturday 05/21/11 (did you know the world is also supposed to end this day? That would really put a damper on the wedding), and I get to PARTAY. I can drink champagne to my hearts content and really enjoy her special day.

It's a whole weekend affair.

Thursday: Work + Spray Tan + Hair (highlights)
Friday: Work + Nails + Rehearsal & Rehearsal dinner + Sleep at the Hyatt w/ Bride.
Saturday: WEDDING! All day event.
Sunday: Champagne Brunch with Andy & Carter.

You can expect pictures galore to follow.

Lucky Me!

I've been feeling very grateful and positive lately. Life is too short to be anything but happy, and that has been really resonating with me. I have a hard time taking things too personally (like really way out there personally), and recently I've been able to remind myself that "it's not about me." It's not, really. You can only do so much to try and be a good person and if someone takes offense to something I did or is upset at me for godknowswhy, then it's their problem, not mine. I can only control my actions and reactions. I am the only one who can upset me, and I am the only one who can make me happy. Sometimes we all need a little kick in the butt to remind us, but if we are living, healthy, and surrounded by lots of friends and family who love us - we are already the luckiest people in the world!

When I was a child, I remember a friend once telling me I was "lucky" because I had parents who worked really, really hard and had a nice life and I got to be their daughter. Wow, me lucky? I really started to believe that I was just one of those *lucky* people because of it. When I wanted something, I believed with my every being that I was going to get it, because hey, I was lucky! And I usually did, so I believed it more. And then more people told me I was lucky, and I believed it more. To this day I am still told I'm a lucky person and I know luck has nothing to do with it.

Life doesn't go the way I want or I hope for all the time, and that's ok. I don't always get what I want. I wish I was a size 4. I wish I had a million dollars. I wish I was able to finish my screenplay and sell it for a million dollars. I wish I lived in a bigger house with a beautiful backyard that Carter can run around in. I wish I didn't lose my daughter. Some of these things I can control and others I can't, but I'm choosing to be grateful for what I do have and for the life I'm able to lead, and the amazing people I have in my life. I don't want to be remembered or thought of as an angry, ungrateful, or an unpleasant person to be around. I want to be thought of as a loving, giving, happy and positive person.

I've re-connected with some old friends recently. One friend in particular I was very close with when I was 9-12, and I used to always wonder how she was doing and how her life was going. Out of the blue, I messaged her on Facebook, and since then we've done several lunches and I no longer wonder about her. I made that step. I've done that a lot recently, reaching out to friends I had lost, or making that first step with someone or something new. It's amazing how far one step can take you.

Here is a little daily motivation for you:

21 Suggestions for Success by H. Jackson Brown:

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6. Be generous.

7. Have a grateful heart.

8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12. Commit yourself to quality.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal.

15. Be honest.

16. Be a self-starter.

17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

20. Take good care of those you love.

21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

"Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running." Anonymous

Having a moment

They come and they go. And every once and a while I see something that reminds me and I totally lose it. Like sitting at my desk tears streaming down my face lose it. And then it passes and life goes on ...

Oprah

I love you.

That is all.

Me.

Heels & Babies

I'm trying to FINALLY take the plunge and learn how to wear heels. It definitely takes some practice and as I advance more professionally, it's a necessity. I don't think I can get away with wearing dressy flip flops anymore at business meetings. It's just not working.

How does a 27 year old woman living in Southern California not know how to wear heels? I can't answer that. I live in sandals and heels always have terrified me. I'm also overweight and I didn't think I could pull it off, but I need to lose that mentality (and a little weight, I get it).

I bought a cute pair of Steve Madden pumps for $20 on clearance at TJ Maxx. They are REAL heels. Not the 1 inch fake ones I also try and get away with. I need to wear cute black heels for my best friend Laura's wedding a week from Saturday and I thought these would be perfect.

^Similiar to these^

I tested them out yesterday and I thought I did pretty well except for the occasional stumble (which after having a few glasses of wine at Ladies Night kinda made it seem like I was wasted because I couldn't walk properly and I kept having to tell people "IT'S THE SHOES! I'm not a drunk.")

But I'm quite proud of myself. I think I can pull them off for the wedding and I seriously hope I can walk down the isle without tripping or stumbling.

On the TTC front, we *tried* for this first time this cycle by following the shettles method (to try for a girl). I don't know why because I'm really starting to love the idea of having two boys. I love my little boy and I can picture myself with an all boy family and I'm kinda digging it. Either way I'll be thrilled just to have a healthy pregnancy that ends in a healthy baby. On one hand I would love to get pregnant this cycle and have an Aquarius baby, but on the other I could use more time emotionally and physically. If it happened this month, I would be pregnant when my former due date came around and that would make the day much easier to deal with.

I have a super busy few months ahead but I'm hoping I can make more time to blog regularly this summer.