An update - 13 dpo

By now, at 13 dpo, with previous pregnancies I would have had very, very positive tests and a digital confirmation of PREGNANT. And I probably would have told the world. All before my period was due.

So on Wednesday at 11 dpo, I decided I was out. My tests were completely negative (and I've studied enough tests to know). They were as white as can be, not the faintest hint of any type of line. I tried to find any resemblance of a line, believe me.

Honestly I was REALLY surprised. Last week, I felt like I couldn't wear a bra without major pain because my boobs hurt so much. I had headaches around 3pm each day, and they were the kind of tension headache I only get when I'm pregnant. I went to bed at 8pm nightly due to pure exhaustion. This doesn't happen on any normal day. I've convinced myself that I've had symptoms before, but there was no convincing these. They were 100% real. I could have shouted it from the rooftops because I was that sure. And I was happy.

Fast forward to this week when all my symptoms disappear (which is still normal for me), but all my tests were negative. I was so confused, but then I got an amazing call from the casting director of this new show (centered around weight loss), and I pushed all my TTC thoughts aside and decided I was going for this amazing opportunity with everything I've got. It could change my entire life!! At this point, I was pretty sure that at 11 dpo, without even a hint of anything, that I was out this month.

And then later that night, I decided to test again before our Wednesday Ladies Night just to be sure. And I saw the faintest 2nd line. It was super light, but I showed it to Roxanne and she said she saw it but was skeptical. So I took another, and there was yet another super faint line. And still Roxanne was skeptical because it was so light., but she could see it. People who aren't TTC are funny. A line is a line people! When you take a gazillion tests you know the difference between nothing and a light line. AND if it is some sort of weird fluke / evap line, you don't get a super faint line on more than one test. So I went to bed with mixed emotions.

Here is a picture of those tests. Disclaimer, I took this picture on my iPhone - it's blurry and the lines were slightly more visible in person. They are hard to see, but there. You may have to tilt your head to see it.

And if you've ever been part of a TTC community before, you always need to invert the picture to see the line. If the line cannot be seen when the colors are inverted, it's not there. I've inverted many a picture before.

And it's there! This was blurry ish picture to begin with.

I should have taken with my Rebel but I was lazy.

Exciting stuff, huh? So I took another test yesterday morning and the line was still very faint, but there. I went to work and was pretty much over the show possibility and was sure I was pregnant. I went to a fabulous Mexican restaurant with the girls to celebrate Laura's Birthday.

Hehe.

Right next door to the restaurant is a CVS so I ran over after holding my pee all morning, grabbed some FRER's (First Response Early Result) and took a test. Another very faint light line. I love my internet cheapie tests because they test a 10-15 miu of HCG where as a FRER varies and can be as high as 25. But there was definitely a line (I'll try and get a pic of this later). Most tests you buy at the store are much lower sensitivity so you won't get a positive until closer to when your next period is due. So if you want to be a crazy like me and go through an emotional roller coaster - buy really sensitive tests and starting testing at 7 dpo just to f*ck with your mind. It's so much fun. I highly recommend it.

Anywho, let's hold off on the excitement and congratulations. My test's last night and this morning are still very, very faint, and dare I saw fainter? The FRER from lunch yesterday had a light line, and the FRER last night had nothing. But my cheapies are still showing light lines. Aren't my numbers supposed to double every other day? Shouldn't they be double the darkness than Wed? Probably, but not necessarily. My period is due tomorrow. Unless I implanted or O'd very late, this just seems so odd to me that I wouldn't be getting a darker line by now. It's so light that a digital wouldn't even confirm this yet. That combined with the fact that I just don't feel pregnant makes me feel like this little one isn't sticking and might be a chemical pregnancy, or (I don't even want to say this because it's scary) ectopic. I hate you Google!*

*Note:  I don't hate you Google, I actually love you and want to be super rich and successful like your creators. Are you hiring?

So there's where I'm at. No matter how long I hold me pee, these tests are getting lighter. But it's only been two days since the first light line and there's a chance it's just too early. This is why you should wait until your period is late before taking a pregnancy test.*

*Note: I don't do this and probably never will because I have no self control, but you should.

So that's about it. I'm leaving it all up to fate. What will be, will be. I'm happy that I have two amazing things "potentiating." Wait is that a word?

I'll keep you posted, and you keep it quiet.

Much love,
M