Saturday, June 30, 2012

Newborn Photo Shoot

I took the pictures myself when Olivia was about 8 days new. Her umbilical cord stump just fell off (eww) so I'll probably take a few more pictures sometime next week. Photography is always a work in progress for me, as with Photoshop, but I think I can tell a big difference over pictures I took just a year ago. I have a feeling I'll be taking tons of pictures this summer.

Here are the rest of my faves from our shoot:

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Birth of Olivia Lenora

You guys, she's amazing. I'm kind of in awe of her, and I could lay around all day just staring at this precious baby girl.

I still can't believe she's here and healthy. I'm still overwhelmed by this. The entire pregnancy I felt like I had a dark cloud over my head and couldn't actually believe that it was going to result in a healthy baby. A girl baby. A GEMINI baby. A baby that looks just like me. But it did. And she does. I would walk around her nursery and think about what I was going to do with all of her things if or when something happened. If I wouldn't feel her kick for an hour or so I would instantly start thinking the worst. It was awful, and I couldn't control my thoughts or feelings about this.

Also, she's SO FREAKIN easy! I didn't know babies like this existed, or maybe I didn't realize just how difficult Carter was until I had Olivia. I'm hoping to blog about this later. They are so different! There are so many posts I want to write this summer, but for now I'm going to share with you Olivia's birth story.

Olivia and I the day after she was born

As I've mentioned before, we decided on a repeat c-section rather than try for a vbac. I really wanted to have a vbac, but the more I thought about my first birth experience and emergency c-section, the more I realized I was NOT interested in trying for a vbac. My overall c-section experience the first time around wasn't really bad at all. In fact, I'd say it was a pretty good experience. I've come to terms with the fact that I may not ever experience a vaginal birth, and I am totally okay with this. This doesn't make my mommy card any less valid, and my kids are both healthy and happy. I really give two shits about how they got here. After talking to my husband at length about the topic, we decided to go for the planned c- section. I'm really happy with our decision and have no regrets about it, so far.

I went in at 8am on June 11th for what was supposed to be a 10 am c-section, only to find out that my doctors office had rescheduled me for 12:30 and someone failed to let me know. I love my doctor's office and knew two hours of waiting wasn't a huge deal so we decided to stay and wait rather than drive home just to sit on the couch and think about all the foods I couldn't eat (I had to fast) only to drive back an hour later. Noon rolled around and our nurse came in with more bad news. A woman expecting twins came in after her water had broken and was 3 cm's dilated so they needed to bump our c-section for hers. What can you do? We had to wait another 2 1/2 hours, but the time passed pretty quickly, and I was all that more eager to get the show on the road.

Nerves eventually started to settle in and all kinds of thoughts started to race through my mind. I begun second guessing my decision as the reality was hitting that I was about to have major surgery, and I started to worry about all of the "what ifs." It was nice going into it with a clear head (and let's be honest, a face full of make-up) but it also made my anxiety level go up a notch because I was more aware of what was about to happen, and had a lot more time to process it all.

Around 2:30 pm, it was go time. I chose to have one of my very best friends (Roxanne) in the room to photograph the birth for us, and she's also really into gross gory things and wanted to watch. Truth. Roxanne and Andy stayed behind in the room and put their scrubs on while I made the walk to the O.R. to start the surgery prep. Funny story, right before I left, the doctor made sure to tell Andy and Roxanne to leave their clothes on under their scrubs. Apparently, someone once removed all of their clothing before putting on the scrubs. We were in hysterics picturing a dad-to-be walking down the hallway nakie in see through scrubs. They use clear white scrubs there! Seriously.

The hardest part of the experience was getting the spinal. It was painful going in, and feeling my legs go completely numb in seconds weirded me out. I remember trying to wiggle my toes with all my might and it was such a freaky feeling not being able to. I started to get really emotional while being prepped and I knew once my husband came in, I was going to lose it, and I did. As soon as I saw him, I couldn't control myself, but he did his best to calm me down.

I don't remember much after that, it went by pretty quickly and within minutes she was born. She cried before we even realized she was out, and within minutes she was all mine.

It took about 45 minutes to get me stitched up, and into my recovery room. I was able to nurse Olivia within an hour of her being born, and she latched immediately.

Recovery wise, I'm healing but still dealing with some pain. I have my good days and bad days, but for the most part I'm feeling great.

Everything was such a whirlwind the first time around but this time I was able to stop and savor every minute of our birth experience (even the c-section!) and our hospital stay.

Carter holding his baby sis for the very first time

My "you just got cut open" present

My amazing OB

Impromptu hospital photo shoot

Napping in my hospital bed. I swear they just did this!!

Going home outfit

On our way home!
I feel so much more confident this time around in every aspect. Being a mom of two is not that bad (for us). Going from none to one was really hard. Going from one to two? Didn't change much. We had our difficult baby first. Carter was colicky and didn't sleep more than 45 minutes at a time for the first few months. It was beyond exhausting.  Yes, I'm up every 2-3 hours, but Olivia is a dream compared to Carter. More on this later!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Proudly introducing...

Olivia Lenora

Born at 3:23pm, June 11, 2012

Weighing in at 8 pounds, 4 ounces. 20 inches long.

More details to follow.

Sunday, June 10, 2012


*Please excuse this awful picture. I didn't have energy to make myself look decent today.

Well folks, this is it. I've made it to 39 weeks and tomorrow I go for in my repeat c-section so this will be short.

I'm a bundle of nerves right now, and it hasn't quite hit me that in 24 hours I should be in my hospital room snuggling my little girl.

It has been quite a week with two scary non-stress tests at the hospital, and I've been on edge ever since.

I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin, I don't think I could have made it any longer as I'm sure any pregnant woman would say right before delivering.

I had a moment earlier today while driving around with Carter. I actually could see myself holding Olivia and taking her home (something that has been hard for me to imagine due to my fears this entire pregnancy) and I broke down into that really ugly cry. I think I freaked Carter out a little and had to reassure him that I was only crying happy tears.

Please send prayers and positive thoughts for Olivia's safe and healthy arrival!

Hopefully I'll get a chance to update you all from the hospital.

O M G.