Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Who's your Momma?

That would be ME. I'm Carter's Momma. I didn't even need to tell you that, right? Well maybe someone should tell him that...
Carter's 1st Thanksgiving 11/2009

A while back Carter was in this very clingy mommy phase. He always wanted his mommy. I couldn't go to work, or leave the room, or eat, or pee without a massive amount of waterworks. I would try and hand him off to Daddy or Roxanne so I could cook dinner each night, and he would always come running back to me and hug my legs and cry. I can't pretend I didn't absolutely love that.

Recently, (in the past few weeks), I've noticed Carter become more clingy to Roxanne. Roxanne is Carter's Godmother and one of my best friends so I thought it was adorable. And then I noticed he started calling her "Momma." Hmm, not so adorable so we corrected him "Oh no Carter, I'M your momma, this is ROC, remember, ha ha, ha, ha ...." (Note: we thought Roc would be easier to say than Roxanne). And then he called her momma again, and then again, and then it wasn't so funny anymore. He can repeat most words we say easily so why couldn't he call her "Roc?!" It just made my title not as significant. I carried you in my belly for 9 months! I nursed you! I'M THE MOMMA.We've only been repeating her name to him since he was born. Why is he calling her momma? Am I not enough mother for him?

Rox and Carter in their Lakers gear.

And then I noticed Carter call MY mom, momma. My mom is a big presence in his life, but again, I worked hard at being his mom, so I deserve to be the only one called momma. I didn't understand why he wouldn't call her grammie? It's not like I don't say "Do you want to go to grammie's house" on a daily basis. My mom absolutely loves it when he calls her momma and she encourages it! She also doesn't correct people in public when they assume Carter's her son. Thanks Mom! I do all the dirty work and then get to lose my identity as a mother. Great.

Carter and his Grammie on Mother's Day 2011

I started to think he picked this up at daycare (because let's face it, I blame everything on day care. Blame daycare!). I figured he saw the other mom's come pick up their kid's and then he'd hear the kid's call their mom, momma. Carter was just assuming that all women were momma's! Makes sense, right? We all just have the same name! I believed this until the day Carter called my dad, momma. This threw my theory out the window. How could you call MY DAD, momma? He's a dude, dude. When Carter wants something at my parents house, he'll run up to my dad and make grabby hands and say "mommmma." While it's super adorable, it's just plain weird. Carter can say "oh no, it broke," or "why did you do that?" but he can't call my dad Papa?

Carter and my dad "Captain" Dave, Mother's Day 2011

I think what it really comes down to is that Carter associates any loving adult figure in his life as momma. We all play important roles to him. When I really think about it, I'm happy that he has so many loving people who care for him in his life, who cares if he calls them all momma? I know someday he'll understand who I am and what role I play. I think it's his way of telling someone that he loves them and trusts them, just like he does his momma. And that's a beautiful thing. It really does take a village to raise a child (or lots of family and friends), and that's ok.

Love your only one,

Carter's Momma